Here is the latest from my meditations on the loss of my cat: every day that he was in my life I was afraid that I would lose him. And I was aware that I was afraid; but even in that awareness, I could not bring myself to release the fear; even as I read the Letting Go book; even as that book spoke about how excessive love of your pets is an indication of lack of love elsewhere in your life, I could not do it. Now he is gone, and my worst fear realized. Of course, there is no relief in knowing this, only the pain of missing him. I have come to realize, that, if I choose to believe that maybe he is still alive, I can now live everyday in anticipation of his return (as I once lived in fear of losing him). What a strange flip in circumstances. I don't necessarily want to live in denial. (I know I am sometimes given a little too strongly to "magical thinking"). At the same time, we have all heard of the cat's "9 lives." So. I suppose the healthiest choice is not to dwell on it, release him to the universe with love, and treat myself with the same.
Which leads back to the working from home... when the whole world falls apart because the only good thing in your life is a cat.... well. It is time for a review, no? Day job atmosphere has been pretty negative for awhile now; my debts are finally paid off; I have moved back to the family farm so there is potential for residual income there (once my gardening skills are up to par)... and I LOVE to write. I have supported myself with freelance projects in the past, I was just a little disappointed with the types of projects available. However, I have found what seems to be a higher-quality bidding website; I reopened my Etsy shop as well; I have this website with a number of affiliate programs that I could spend more time on; I've put a few photos on Fine Art America, as well as 123RF (a Royalty-Free site, see below), and I have my cafepress shop. Can I do it? :)